Raising Humans in a Fortnite World

Hey there, Mama...

Picture this: Your child walks past a classmate sitting alone at lunch without a second glance. Or they step over their sibling’s dropped art project without offering to help. Maybe they interrupt your conversation for the fifth time, oblivious to the fact that you’re trying to talk.

Sound familiar?

If your child seems less naturally caring and compassionate than you’d hoped, it’s not your imagination. We’re facing what researchers call an "empathy emergency." And the stakes couldn’t be higher for your child’s future relationships and happiness.

This week, we’re diving into my sixth core principle: Empathy in Action. Because understanding others creates caring connections—and builds self-understanding too.

The Empathy Emergency

Here’s the sobering reality:

• Empathy has declined 40% among young people since 2000 (with the steepest decline following the intro of smartphones).

• 67% of kids now score in the "low empathy" range.

• Teachers report that 78% of students are "meaner" than just a decade ago.

• Traditional bullying has increased 321% since 2000.

What’s causing this crisis?

→ Screen displacement: Kids need face-to-face interaction to develop the brain circuits for empathy.

→ Violent gaming culture: Games like Fortnite reward harm, associating violence with success.

→ Parental digital distraction: When parents check devices every 3-5 minutes, kids learn that screens matter more than people.

→ Digital comfort replacement: Screens are replacing human comfort when kids are upset, disrupting healthy attachment patterns.

Building Empathy Starts With You

Your empathy toward your child is their first—and most important—empathy lesson.

When you say, “You seem disappointed that playtime is over. It’s hard when fun things end,” you’re teaching them to:

• Notice emotions in others.

• Connect feelings to situations.

• Respond with understanding instead of judgment.

Why Empathy Matters

Research shows empathy:

• Builds emotional intelligence: Kids who understand others’ feelings regulate their own emotions better.

• Strengthens relationships: Empathetic kids have deeper friendships and family bonds.

• Reduces aggression: Kids who take others’ perspectives are less likely to bully.

• Builds resilience: Seeing others struggle helps normalize their own challenges.

1. Emotional contagion: Feeling what others feel (develops first).

2. Cognitive empathy: Understanding why others feel the way they do (develops with practice).

How to Model Empathy Daily

Here are three simple ways to model empathy:

1. With your child:
    “I can see you’re frustrated. How can I best help?”
   
   

2. With others (where your child can observe):
    “I noticed Dad seems tired after his long day. Let’s give him a few minutes to rest before we ask about the park.”
   
   

3. With yourself:
    “I’m feeling overwhelmed by everything on my plate. I need to take a deep breath and slow down.”
   
   

At dinner or bedtime, ask age-appropriate questions:

• Ages 3-6: “Did you notice anyone feeling sad or happy today? What did you see?”

• Ages 7-12: “Who might have had a hard day today? What makes you think that?”

• Ages 13+: “What’s something challenging a friend is dealing with right now?”

Follow up with: “How do you think they felt about that? What might help them feel better?”

Why it works: It builds the habit of noticing emotions and considering ways to respond with care.

When conflict or social challenges arise, guide your child through these steps:

1. Acknowledge their feelings: “You seem upset about what happened at school.”

2. Explore the situation: “Can you tell me what you saw and heard?”

3. Practice perspective-taking: “How do you think the other person felt? Why?”

4. Brainstorm caring responses: “What could someone do to help in a situation like this?”

5. Connect to their experience: “Have you ever felt that way? What helped you?”

1. The Kindness Detective Game: Spend the day looking for acts of kindness, big or small. At dinner, share what you noticed and how it might have made others feel.

2. Real Book, Real Feelings: Read a physical book together. Pause to ask: “How is this character feeling? Why do you think they made that choice?”

3. Community Helper Appreciation: Write thank-you notes to local helpers (teachers, mail carriers, firefighters etc.). Discuss how their work helps others and how gratitude might make them feel.

Building Self-Empathy Too

Empathy for others begins with self-compassion. Help your child develop self-kindness by:

• Normalizing mistakes: “Everyone messes up sometimes. What matters is how we move forward.”

• Validating emotions: “It makes sense that you’d feel disappointed about that.”

• Modeling self-kindness: “I made a mistake at work today. I’m going to learn from it and move on.”

Why Empathy Matters More Than Achievement

Empathy isn’t just a “nice-to-have” trait—it’s essential for your child’s success and happiness. Kids with strong empathy skills have:

• Better friendships and family relationships.

• Improved academic performance through collaboration.

• Greater resilience and emotional regulation.

• A deeper sense of happiness and purpose.

In today’s screen-saturated world, teaching empathy is an act of hope for your child’s future—and for humanity’s.

Free Download: Complete Empathy-Building Guide

Click below to grab this week’s resource:
[Empathy-Building Activities & Book Guide]

This guide includes:

• Age-specific empathy activities.

• 30+ book recommendations (from board books to teen novels).

• Screen-free alternatives to build emotional intelligence.

• Conversation starters for feelings and perspective-taking.

What’s Coming Next Week

Next week, we’ll explore: “How to Repair After You Yell: Every Mistake is an Opportunity.”

Until then, remember: Every time you show empathy toward your child, you’re teaching them how to show empathy toward others.

Growing compassion with you,
 Dr. Carrie

Quick Implementation:
Right now, notice one emotion your child is experiencing. Instead of rushing to fix it, simply acknowledge: “You seem [frustrated/excited/disappointed].” Watch how this simple validation shifts the energy between you.

P.S. What’s one way your child has shown empathy recently? Hit reply—I’d love to celebrate these moments of caring with you!

P.P.S. Know a parent who’s concerned about raising kind, caring kids? Forward this email—it could make a big difference in their family.