Raising Good Humans

Hey there, Mama...

Have you ever watched your child hold the door for someone, or share their snack with a friend, and felt that warm, quiet glow of parental pride?

Moments like these don’t just happen—they’re the result of deeply rooted values guiding your child’s choices, even when no one is watching.

In today’s fast-paced world, it’s easy to get caught up in the race for achievement—whether it’s grades, sports rankings, awards, or college admissions. Social media often amplifies this, with endless celebrations of trophies and milestones.

But here’s a question worth pausing to consider: Are we raising good humans?

This week, we’re exploring my sixth core principle: Raising Good Humans. Because at the end of the day, character always matters more than achievement.

The CEO Mindset

Here’s something to think about: The world’s most successful organizations thrive because they operate with clear mission statements and values that guide every decision.

But as parents, we often run our families—arguably the most important “organization” we’ll ever lead—without that same level of intentionality.

Think of yourself as the CEO of your family. Your mission isn’t about trophies or grades—it’s about shaping kind, capable humans with strong character and emotional intelligence.

I’ve worked with star athletes, valedictorians, and award winners who checked every box of external success, yet struggled with self-worth because their value was built on rankings rather than character.

Meanwhile, the most fulfilled people I’ve met prioritize relationships and treat others with respect—regardless of whether they finish first or last.

Why Character Matters More Than Achievement

Recent research from Harvard’s Center on Child Development reveals:

• Children with strong character traits report greater long-term satisfaction than those focused on external achievements like grades or getting first place.

• Empathy and kindness predict future success better than grades, trophies, or awards.

• Values-based parenting fosters intrinsic motivation and resilience, while achievement-focused parenting leads to anxiety, burnout, and a fragile sense of self-worth.

When children internalize strong values, they develop an inner compass to navigate life’s challenges and relationships—long after they’ve left your home.

Teaching Character in Daily Life

Building character isn’t about lectures or grand gestures. It’s about embedding values into your everyday interactions.

1. Model What Matters

Children learn more from what we do than what we say.

Try This:

• Say “please” and “thank you” to your kids and others.

• Apologize when you make mistakes.

• Show kindness to service workers, neighbors, and strangers.

• Demonstrate integrity in small moments (e.g., keeping promises, returning extra change).

• Be mindful of how you speak about others when they’re not present—children absorb how you handle conflict and disappointment.

Why it works: Your daily actions become your child’s internal blueprint for how to be human.

2. Notice and Name Character in the Moment

When you see your child displaying good character, call it out specifically.

• Instead of: “Good job!”
  Try: “I noticed how you helped your sister when she was upset. That showed real kindness.”

• Instead of: “You’re such a good kid!”
  Try: “You told the truth even when it was hard. That took integrity.”

Why it works: Highlighting values in action helps children recognize and embrace the traits you want to nurture.

3. Connect Actions to Impact

Help your child understand how their choices affect others.

• “When you shared your toys, I saw how happy it made your cousin feel.”

• “Your teacher mentioned how helpful you were in class today. That brightened her day.”

Why it works: Linking behavior to its positive impact helps children see the bigger picture and builds empathy.

Take a few moments to reflect on what matters most to your family:

1. Ask at dinner: “What do you think is most important to our family?”

2. Write it down: Before bed, jot down the phrases you naturally repeat to your kids, like “Kindness matters” or “We always do our best.”

3. Compare notes: If you have a co-parent, share your lists and look for themes.

For older kids, involve them in the process: “What do you think our family stands for?” Their insights might surprise you!

When challenges arise, use them as opportunities to reinforce values:

• The Situation: Your child loses a game and feels devastated.

  • Achievement Response: “You’ll get them next time! Let’s practice more!”

  • Values-Based Response: “Losing is disappointing. I’m proud of your effort and how you encourage your teammates. That shows real character.”

Why it works: This approach reminds kids that their value comes from who they are, not what they achieve.

✅ Download the Family Values Worksheet to help you create your family’s mission statement and core values.
✅ Take 30 minutes to write your own values and compare with your co-parent.
✅ Plan a simple family meeting to introduce your values.
✅ Want to go deeper? Consider reading:"The Parenting Shift That Builds Calmer Kids and Closer Bonds" 

Free Download: Family Values Worksheet

Click to grab this week’s resource: [Family Values Worksheet]

This toolkit includes:

• Step-by-step instructions for identifying your family’s core values.

• A mission statement template with real examples.

• Conversation guides to involve kids of all ages.

• A real example: Our family’s mission statement and 10 values.
  

Next week, we’ll explore: “Discipline That Teaches: Not Punishes”—how to use consequences with compassion to build character instead of just compliance.

Until then, remember: Every small moment of living your values helps shape your child into a kind, resilient, and fulfilled human being.

Leading your family organization with you,
Dr. Carrie

P.S. After you create your family values, I’d love to hear what surprised you! Hit reply and share—your experience might inspire other families.

P.P.S. Know a parent caught up in the achievement race? Forward this email to remind them that raising character matters more than raising champions.

P.P.P.S. Follow me on Instagram [@successful_parent] for parenting tips and behind-the-scenes insights!