Let Them Try

Hey there~

If you're new here, welcome. A lot of you found me through the Parenting in the Digital Age Summit, and I'm so glad you're here. This newsletter lands every Thursday-ish with practical, science-backed parenting help. Some weeks we talk screens. Some weeks, like today, we talk about everything else that goes into raising good humans.

Here's something I've noticed about summer. With routines gone, downtime stretches long, and screens slowly become the default for filling it. If that's happening in your house, it's not your fault. These devices are engineered to become the default.

But there's a better default, and it builds something a screen never can: confidence.

This week's principle is Raising Capable Kids. Kids don't feel capable because we tell them they are. They feel capable because they do hard things and discover they can succeed.

The Science Behind It

Confidence grows through doing, not simply watching. Every time a kid solves a problem, finishes something tricky on their own, or finds their way somewhere new, their brain logs the same lesson: I can handle this. That belief is the root of real confidence, and it's built through mastery experiences that only happen when we let kids try.

Try This Tonight

Next time your kid wants to know something or make something, resist the reflex to say "search it up." Skip Google, AI, and YouTube for a beat. Instead, talk it through out loud together. "What do you already know? What could you try first?" Let them lead the figuring out process. The answer matters less than the muscle they build getting there.

This Weekend: Talk, Try, Trust

Summer is the season to widen your kid's world. Here's a simple way to do it without throwing them in the deep end straight away.

Talk. Tell your kid you think they're ready to do something on their own, like walking the dog or biking to a nearby park or shop. Frame it as the vote of confidence it is.

Try. First, do it together. Walk the route, talk through the crosswalks, the what-ifs, who to ask for help. Then go again with them in the lead and you a few steps behind.

Trust. When they're ready, let them go solo. Afterward, celebrate and talk it through. "What felt easy? What was tricky?" That reflection is where lessons are learned and their confidence deepens.

You will feel your own parental-worry shrink as you watch their capability and confidence grow. It's a gift to you both.

You're doing the subtle, yet often anxiety-provoking, important work. Let them try, then watch them surprise you.

Cheering you (and your kiddos) on~
Dr. Carrie

P.S. I wrote a whole piece about the day my boys' takeout bag broke a mile from home, no phone, and how they figured it out. It's the fuller story behind Talk, Try, Trust. [Read it here on Substack]